


Ballads

by antibanana



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Invasion of Privacy, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Scoptophobia, Stalking, will update tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 18:36:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16434677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antibanana/pseuds/antibanana
Summary: Rey struggles with new changes in her life, particularly with Finn, her best friend, moving into his partner’s luxury residential. There, she meets the enigmatic Kylo Ren, whose security enterprise ensures the safety of the community's inhabitants. Soon, she sees him everywhere, and learns that there's more to him than meets the eye.





	1. Girl, would it kill you just to show a little bit of attention

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MalevolentReverie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/gifts).



> To MalevolentReverie, thanks for inspiring this. You are a truly amazing writer and a great supporter of creative freedom. Thank you. You deserve more than this rewritten work. I adore you.
> 
> And to my readers, thank you for being support and your patience.

I should really be happy for him. That's what friends do, right? As his best friend, I'm supposed to be supportive and happy and celebrating him. Not frowning. I swear, I don't mean to. This just means I'll see him less, and he'll be too busy with his hotshot older boyfriend and playing house. I shouldn't be like this. I can't help it. He was mine first. Finn is the only person in the world I could claim as mine. No - don't be gross. I love him like I would a brother, if I had been lucky to have one. I don't have anyone. No one but him. When all the other kids made me feel invisible, he was the only person who saw me. He was the first and only friend that I've ever had. He gave me a sweater to wear so that the other kids would stop looking at the burns and track marks. He'd share his food with me everyday because my parents were always asleep. He always takes care -- took care of me. And now? He's staring at me, worried he said something wrong. No, no. You didn't say anything wrong. I should be happy for him. But, I'm not.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm acting like this." Of course you do, Rey. He's gonna move in with him, and forget all about you. Just like your parents. Just like everyone else.  

Finn shakes his head. "I knew it, this was too soon." It was. They only started dating… Three months ago? But what do I know? I've never dated.

"But, it's a good thing. I'll still be teaching second grade Language Arts and getting paid more at this job than the one I have now, and we'll be living twenty minutes away. You're always welcomed to stay." 

He smiles genuinely at me. _ You're always welcomed to stay.  _ When has Finn ever said something he never meant? Never.

I give a small smile and nod. 

"Okay."  He hugs me tightly, snug on our old red couch. "I'm so happy, Rey. Like, finally I just feel completely...Happy."

Love, is that what it's like? Have I never made him feel like that? The thought lingers. "Oh, and he has a daughter. She's so adorable. You'd love her." 

He has a family now. One that isn't mine. One that I have no business being a part of.

 

\--- 

 

I help pack up and move his things into Poe's. Glancing at our apartment,  I realize that most of it was his, and the place has never felt more lonely than ever. I can’t picture living here without him. 

The whole ride felt weird. I don't like change. We arrive in front of tall steel gates. Finn dials a keypad from outside the van window. Poe is rich. He lives in a luxury gated community. Beyond the gate, I see Mediterranean houses surrounded by lush flowers I don't even know the name of, and trees that bear fresh fruit. Gold and silver streamers decorate the high gates like there's a party going on later. Suddenly,  my whole T-shirt and denim combo don’t fit right into the Sunday's Best attire going on here. The cameras on each corner of the gates make itself known. Blinking red flows us in. I look right into one in particular, and I could have sworn it zoomed right into my face. Right into my soul, and I can see right back into the anonymity of the security camera. 

We stop in front of Poe's house. Finn sets the car on park as I step out of the van. A little girl’s head pops out in the corner of the Poe’s window, and I smile. She disappears suddenly. I hear mechanical zooming. There's a camera on the lamppost behind me. I turn around to face it, and tilt my head to the side. It does the same and a chill runs down my back. I can't move.

"A little help," Finn calls from the trunk of the van. The camera shifts to where Finn is. It can hear too? I loop to the other side of the van, to Finn, hearing the camera zoom and shift about as if it’s searching for me..  A door opens, and Poe walks out, carrying an iPad. He tucks it under his arm, and kisses Finn. The camera follows his movements too, and that doesn't bother him at all? He beams at me and gives me a hug. The camera zooms, and I stiffen. "My bad," Poe assumes it was him but I point at the cameras. They remind me of the interrogations I’ve been subjected to. "Oh." Poe types into his iPad and suddenly the camera tilts down and the lenses shut.  

Poe beams at me. "Better?"  

"Much." 

He excitedly chatters with Finn as he helps him with his things. I take one of the boxes, and before heading inside I squint at the trees, the lamp posts, the corners of roofs.

I don't see anything, but that doesn't mean I'm relieved.  

 

\--- 

 

Rose is an interesting little girl. All chubby pink cheeks and happy. I'm at their backyard, watching her pick up twigs and stones and create her own little forest. Sometimes she’ll just randomly say things out of nowhere. “Mommy is in the sky. Mommy is in the sky.” Or, she’ll point out butterflies that flutter by. “Mommy loves butterflies.” When she speaks it’s the same two phrases all the time. I don’t know what to make of it.

I turn towards her, and to humor her I ask, “Who told you that?” I know it’s Poe but she shifts in the sand, pausing. 

She responds but not at me. “Daddy does. All the time. Say it out loud so she can hear me.”

She and I occasionally glance up to watch Poe and Finn inside, laughing and happily chit-chatting. Finn looks back at Poe as he expertly  sautées bell peppers and mushrooms, then he gives Finn a kiss. I can’t fuck this up. I have to try. 

I turn to Rose and try to talk to her, but she doesn’t respond. She knows I’m here. She turns to my direction but doesn’t make eye contact. She looks down at the soft sand, running her fingers through it like a rake. 

“She’s an odd kid,” spoke a baritone voice from behind the fence next to us. She moves closer to me, shifting uncomfortably. Footsteps move from around the fence until we are faced with a tall man with a broad back and chiseled features. His eyes are inviting and warm and dark brown. Black hair framing his face, and the buttons on the sleeves of his shirt are straining from the muscles of his forearms. Rose goes back to ignoring him, grabbing fistfuls of sand. She lets it spill from the spaces between her fingers, covering her miniature forest in tan snow. I’m not sure why she’s acting this way. Maybe it’s because he smells like cigarettes. He calls her again as he looks at me. I’m no one special. Please stop staring.

“Hey kiddo.” 

Nervously, she greets him. “Hi, Kylo.” 

“Thank you for greeting me. Will you introduce me to your new friend?” 

Rose shifts around, her eyes look at everything else but Kylo - the tall, handsome gentleman - and I. “No.”

“Rose, that’s not nice. Remember what you learned in social skills class?”

Rose looks at her hands, then finally, she looks at me. Her eyes are friendly and open. “This is Rey. She is Finn’s friend. Papa’s special friend’s friend.” She settles closer to me but doesn’t say anymore. She seems more comfortable with me. Her small fingers brush against mine, dragging it to the sand in the similar fashion as hers from earlier.

“Would you like Rey to braid your hair?” Kylo makes eye contact with me, smirking. Rose nods her head stiffly.

“It’s okay, really. I don’t know how to braid hair.” but Rose, seemingly okay with me being there, takes my hands into her small one and lets it touch the top of her long, straight black hair.  I take the extra hair ties on my wrists and put her hair in three buns like mine. Through it, Kylo watches us, and weirdly a small part of me feels uncomfortable. 

“What do you say, Rose?”

Rose feels her hair in buns, fingertips slipping into the loops. “Thank you,” she whispers.

“Anytime.” I beam at her, and notice her feel at ease, her hands back on the sand. Mesmerized.

“You have a lovely voice.” Kylo runs a hand through his hair, and smiles at me. “I saw you earlier…I just thought to say hi.” He glances behind me, and I follow. Poe and Finn are nearly done cooking our meal. “It was nice meeting you, Rey. See you around.”

I wave back. “See you around.”   
  


 

\---

 

After dinner, Poe, Finn, and I unpack what we can today. I’ll be helping them a lot for the next few days. Rose is in her jammies, drawing, when Poe pulls me to the side.

“Finn told me about your hesitation with him moving here. I understand completely. You guys are so close. He truly loves you, and you’re the most important person in his life. I mean, he talks about you all the time.” He leads me up the stairs, into the hallway. “He really cares about you and we talked, and talked, and we both decided to...Um...” We stop in front of a door, and he struggles to open it. I’m met with a fully furnished room with a nice beach theme. “- It’s your room. Finn told me how you love the ocean and collecting shells, so…”  _ You’re always welcomed to stay.  _ Overjoyed, I hug Poe and excitedly squeal. 

Finn pops his head into the doorway, beaming, “I’m glad you like it.” I hug him next.

“This is awesome. Thank you!”

We shuffle out to of the room and celebrate with a bottle of wine. Before the night ends, Rose’s voice comes to mind, and I had to ask.

“What did Rose mean?”

“Huh?” Finn lifts his head from where it was resting on Poe. Poe sits up, wobbly.

“What did you mean?” Poe breathes out.

“She said something today. About her mommy.”

Poe blinks at the reference, sobering. Tense. Finn rubs soothing circles on his back. A broken “ _ what”  _ escapes Poe’s lips.

“I’m sorry.” Shaking my head. Nevermind.

“What did Rose say?”

“Her mommy is in the sky. She told me you told her that. I just want to know what happened.” 

“I never even told her about Paige.” Poe looks confused and hurt and all sorts of feelings. I never should have said anything.

“Papa! I’m sleepy!” Rose shouts from upstairs. Poe gets up and makes his way upstairs. As soon as we hear his footsteps disappear, Finn tells me that Poe’s wife had died while giving birth to Rose. Upset, he tells me never to ask about it. It’s something that Poe has been struggling with for years. But, I can’t help but wonder, she said Daddy does. Maybe, I remembered it wrong.  

  
  



	2. If I hurt you, I'm afraid God's gonna teach me a lesson

 

  


My peaceful dreaming came to an end.

 

No amount of sleep or alcohol would ever get rid of the painful embarrassment and guilt I feel. Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe not - I don’t know a lot of people. I don’t really know how to be around others. I’m shit, and people are _shit._ And, honestly, Poe is not. He’s a great fucking dude. He loves Finn so much. He looks at Finn the way I can only wish someone looked at me.

 

_Complete._

 

The look that if anything fucking happened to Finn, he’d be broken.

I twist uncomfortably in comfortable, clean linen. What happened to his wife? He was straight before right? I have so many questions. I can’t help it. I’m a curious person. I didn’t know she died...

 

The bedsheets shift behind me, and I turn around to see Rose’s messy head pop in my line of sight. Her eyes are teary, fresh from waking up, and she’s clutching a fluffy stuffed rabbit and it looks dirty. There’s leaves and twigs on it. Eyes scratched up. A pretty banged up thing.

“Good morning?” I suppress a chuckle as I make more room for Rose in the bed.  She’s covering the sheets in dirt and leafy debris. She studies my face the way a concerned parent would, afraid I’d be upset at the intrusion.

 

“It’s okay. Fine, really.” I smile and so does she, looking away into the window --

I hear her whimper and slip deeper under my sheets.

 

“What’s wrong?” Everything is still outside -

 

That’s when I saw it. Blinking red.

 

I get out of the bed, and before I put my foot on the floor, tiny hands tug me back. “No!” Rose looks like she’s about to cry. She moves one hand to clutch the edge of the comforter, attempting to cover me.

“Rose, it’s okay - I’m here.” I move away and another tug. I just want to see where exactly the camera is looking at. And, to close the blinds.

 

“No! Stay...Daddy is watching… Listening…”

 

What the fuck? “Rose, where is your dad and Finn?”

 

“Shh...Quiet.” Rose places her index in front of her mouth. She closes her eyes and curls up in the bed. After a moment, noticing my eyes on her, she whispers, “Out…”

 

I yank my arm away from Rose, and walk fast toward the window. I open it and meet the cold, invasive lens of the camera.

 

“Hey! Knock it off! I get it, you’re upset - but you don’t have to go and make this weird. You’re scaring your daughter.” I glare at the camera, ignoring the bright sunlight blinding me at this angle. It continues to blink red, steady as a heartbeat. Maybe it can’t hear?

 

I move closer to the lens to peer into it, searching, hoping - a stupid hope honestly - to find out who’s watching, scare them into shutting off.

 

I am close enough that I can smell the paint on it and I… I can see the dark rim inside it, like a pupil on an eyeball.

 

Red blinks rapidly.

 

Suddenly, something behind the lens shutters and I stumble back. Freaked out.

 

I hear the camera shutter again. It’s following my face. _Shutter._ Rose rises from the bed, rounding the corner of it, and out of the room. _Shutter._ I move to close the window and the camera moves fluidly to my arms reaching to shut the window. _Shutter._ Before I pull the strings of the blinds down, the camera finds my face once again. Zooming in.

 

Then, it powers down.

 

What the hell?

 

I let the blinds fall down, covering me in slits of sun. I turn to see Rose, trembling behind me. A finger on a tablet. The same one Poe had yesterday.

 

Nothing makes sense. But the relief on Rose’s face is the only thing that matters right now.

 

\---

 

 

Finn and Poe went out for lunch. That’s what it said on the note on the fridge. Finn’s text asks me to watch Rose for a few hours. Nothing more.

 

As I am scrambling eggs, I wish they came back already. I am not a big fan of waiting things out until the problem eventually fades away. I need to talk to Poe. Clear things up.

 

The patio door is open. Rose is drawing on the concrete walkway with chalk, and her beat up bunny next to her. I wonder if she ever feels lonely.

 

She scribbles away peacefully. As if the weird moment in my room never happened.

 

I plate the scrambled eggs, and toast a few slices for her and I to share.

 

The doorbell rings. The patio door closes swiftly, purple chalk dusting the handles as Rose locks it. She follows behind me as I approach the door. The doorbell rings again, and I hesitate to open it.

 

Knocking replaces the doorbell. I look through the peephole, and standing outside in a black crew neck and jeans is Kylo Ren.

 

Rose settles behind me and I place a reassuring hand on the back of her head.

 

Kylo smooths his hair and before he could knock again I open the door. I forgot how massive he is up close. I move back a bit. Any closer and I’d collide into his broad chest.

 

“May I help you?”

 

He grins. “Sorry, I don’t mean to bother you. But I was just coming by to remind Poe about the HOA meeting in half an hour.”

 

“HOA?”

 

“The Homeowners’ Association Meeting? It’s twice a month. Just repairs and changes in the community. I don’t normally do this, but he asked me to talk to Hux about postponing last week’s meeting and...”

“He’s not home. I’m-” I look at Rose. She’s stuck staring at her bunny on the floor.  “I’m babysitting his daughter.”

 

Kylo’s jaw clenches. “Fucking prick.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

He chuckles, and recovers, then shifts to the right to squat down and tilt his head towards Rose. “Hi Rose. Why are you hiding behind our lovely new friend?” He winks at me, and I feel uneasy.

 

“It’s Rey.” _Lovely._ As if. Rose peeks out from behind me. Half hiding, half tucking herself into my T-shirt dress. I can feel his eyes burning the skin on my face.

 

My eyes meet his. “Say that, again?”

 

“Rey. M-my name is Rey.” Please stop staring.

 

Kylo stands up, eyes on me unwavering. It vaguely reminds me of the lens from earlier. I shudder.

Kylo runs a hand on my arm, where goosebumps have bloomed. “Cold?”

 

Before I could shake my head, Kylo’s foot goes past the entrance as he offers to close the door and enter the threshold. I stop him. One hand on his chest, stopping him. The other hand on the doorknob, holding it open. I move the hand on his chest quickly, and laugh it off. “Sorry, It’s just…”

Rose pulls on my T-shirt dress. “It’s okay. We’re about to eat anyway. And, I have to give her a bath. She woke me up - um - and she was-s. She _is_ covered in dirt. Yeah.”

 

Kylo brow rises, scanning Rose’s dirty arms and chalk covered fingers. “Oh, alright. Maybe I’ll see you later at the meeting - instead?” his eyes are back on me.

 

I nod my head. “Yeah, sure.” _Please stop staring._  We exchange smiles, but his don’t quite reach his eyes. He walks backward out the door, not stumbling, as if he’s memorized the entrance or have eyes on the back of his head.

 

Or because all the houses here look and are set up the same. Who knows.

 

“Maz next door usually watches the kids while we have HOA meetings.”

 

He grins, looking at me one last time, and walks off.

 

When I close the door, it feels weird. Like he’s still in the room.


	3. Now would you hate me if I said goodbye so quick you could eat my dust?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took forever. 
> 
> Kerosene update sometime this weekend.

Rose refused to take a shower. She kept putting her clothes back on when I had just taken it off. When I finally got her in the tub, she threw a fit, screaming and throwing her arms around. Water splashed around her, spilling out into the floor and wetting my T-shirt dress. Through her thrashing and yelling, she managed to get the day’s dirt off her. I don’t understand. We were fine this morning.

 

Desperately, I reached for my phone in my pocket and called Poe. No answer. Rose continued to scream, getting louder and louder. I try Finn’s cell and I’m sent to voicemail. Jesus, what gives?

 

Mid-text, the doorbell rang. Rose goes still in the tub.

 

The doorbell kept ringing. I take a deep breath and release it as I grab the towel from the rack, quickly drying Rose then wrapping it around her tiny frame. We make our way downstairs with Rose tucked to my side. As I open the door, I’m greeted by a petite old lady.

 

“Child, have you been giving our new friend a hard time?” the old lady asks firmly. Rose shakes her head. Liar.

 

“Then what’s all the screaming about?” the old lady eyes me curiously then looks back at Rose. Rose turns red under the scrutiny of the elderly woman’s gaze and she chuckles, tapping the tip of Rose’s nose. “Guilty as charged.”

 

The old lady turns her attention to me. “Hello, I’m Maz. Lovely to meet you.”

 

She has quite the grip for her age. “I’m Rey.” I let go of her hand to welcome her in.

 

“Mr. Ren stopped by and told me this little one might have been a handful for you. I usually watch Rose when Mr. Dameron is unavailable.”

 

I nod in acknowledgement. “My best friend is dating Mr. Dameron. I’m here to watch Rose while they’re out.”

 

They have Maz. What do they need me for? Pretty soon I’ll be out of the picture…

 

“Mr. Ren asked me if you could stand in for Mr. Dameron for today’s Homeowner’s meeting? I don’t mind staying with Rosie.”

 

I rub my eyes, suddenly wet and I pass it off by tucking my hair behind my ear.

 

“Everything okay, dear?”

 

“Yeah… Totally.” I give her a small smile.

 

Maz looks at me as if she recognized someone familiar. “You look just like her.”

 

“Like who?”

 

“Like her mom.”

 

Rose looks up at me, smiling, then she wraps her arms around my thighs briefly before following Maz upstairs to get dressed. I’m left standing in the living room to grapple with this new information. A comparison to someone that I have never met, who also happens to be dead.


	4. Now would you hate me if I run like hell In the wind from dawn 'til dusk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> double update woot woot

 

           

            I checked my phone to see if Finn got back to me, and he hasn’t.

 

            Boldly, I decide to shoot my shot. _What do you know about Paige?_

It sent as quickly as I got a response. Fucking finally. _I’ll tell you when we get back. I promise._

 

 

            I’m late to the HOA meeting. A guy with red, quaffed hair talks animatedly, surrounded by a group people sitting by the poolside. It’s like I walked into a Gap catalog. All Midi dresses, button down shirts and khaki. He makes a joke and everyone laughs.

 

 

             I’m trying to squeeze between people for empty seat when a warm, large hand pulls me away. I almost didn’t recognize him with glasses on.

 

 

            “Here, you can take mine.” Kylo offers as he stands and guides me to his seat closest to the door. He doesn’t give me the chance to decline him.  

 

           

            The redhead from earlier calls him up with a friendly wave. “We can thank Mr. Ren for the new installation of our community security systems!”

 

 

            A round of applause and two strides later, Kylo makes his way to the front.

 

 

            “Right now, the security system we just had installed are in its beta testing stage, but by the looks of it, it seems to be running smoothly –”

 

 

            The guy in front of my seat interrupts clears his throat and shakes his head before he interjects. “–Actually, I don’t know. It’s acting up. The other night, it freaked my wife out. The cameras just zoom in and out randomly – and she said that it took –”

 

            _A camera shutter speeds up following my movement._ My skin prickles at the memory.

 

            “It’s motion-sensored to detect intruders,” Kylo deadpans. “It’s part of the surveillance aspect of the security system. Dopheld, perhaps you can adjust its settings through the app its connected to?”

 

            “Oh, okay. Yeah. But, I know my wife is pregnant, not paranoid. I mean the other day, she heard voices on the feedback –” people are whispering as I process what Dopheld just said.

 

 

            _Voices on the feedback?_

 

 

“...And I don’t know if that’s supposed to do that?...” Dopheld stops talking, and I look up at Kylo, nostrils flared and glaring at the guy in irritation.

 

            “It’s part of the security measure so my team can be on high alert – for your protection, so you don’t have to.”

           

            “I – I understand that. But don’t you think it’s a bit… Invasive?”

 

            There’s a pause before Kylo continues, voice calm but clipped, “Perhaps. I could work on that. Thank you for your feedback.” There’s a lot of open space where we are but everything feels tense. I’m trapped in it, hyper aware of what this whole interaction is implying.

 

            Kylo shakes his head and awkwardly laughs, “My apologies. I just - I’m well aware that almost everyone that lives in this residential has a family or want to start a family…”

 

            He has a faraway look in his eyes, and his voice takes a gentler tone. “So many of you are lucky to have them, and I want to make sure that you can sleep knowing that your loved ones are safe…”

 

            Kylo scans the crowd of people, seemingly touched by his sentiment, and the veil of tension is lifted.

 

            “Anyway, I’ll work on those minor issues. But in the meantime, if you could look over the manual and play with the controls on the app so you can get familiar with the settings and how to use it, that would be great.”

 

            Kylo claps his hands and gestures to the redhead from earlier before walking back to where he was standing next to me.

 

            His arms are crossed, the muscles on his forearms clenched as he stares daggers in the back of Dopheld’s head. I think he noticed me staring because his eyes fall on mine. There’s a shadow of a smile on his face, and his body language shifts to a calmer one. He seems big on self-regulation.

 

            Plastic chairs scrape the concrete.  Conversations about work and kids buzz around me. A few people leave, and I decide that this is my chance -

 

           “Where are you off to?” Kylo asks. He’s so close to me I can feel his warmth and smell his cologne. Personal space, dude.

 

            I’m ready to bullshit my way out of this interaction. “I’m heading back to Rose -”

 

           “She’s in good hands. She’s with Maz -”

 

           “I don’t mind actually –” _bullshit, bullshit, bullshit._

 

           “Why do I have a feeling you’re avoiding me?” Kylo chuckles and bends down to study my face, waiting for my response.

 

           “I’m not avoiding you.”

 

           Kylo squints, grinning. “No, no. Don’t do that.” He straightens and runs a hand through his hair. “You don’t like me, do you?”

 

           I just want to get out of here. I’m vaguely aware that his other hand is on my wrist.

 

         “You don’t like me but you don’t even know me? That‘s not fair.”  He tsked, thumb rubbing circles on my wrist softly but it doesn’t feel soothing at all.

 

          I feel like I should apologize but the feeling of uneasiness outweighs the need to apologize. For the first time, I’m taking the honesty route.

 

         “Look, Kylo, don’t take it personally –”

 

          He drops my hand. “It’s okay. I get it. I just wanted to get to know you, that’s all.”

 

         “Why?” I eye him curiously and he mirrors me.

 

          He snorts then his eyes capture mine. “You’re beautiful.” I laugh at his honesty – if he was offended, he doesn’t show it. “And you strike me as endearing, with the way you are with Rose. Apart from her tantrum.”

 

          “You heard that?” I winced. She was so loud, I wasn’t surprised if he did.

 

          “Yeah,” Kylo laughs and I find myself smiling along with him. “I’ve heard it plenty in the past when Poe was still coming to terms with being a single dad.”

 

            My smile fades but I keep my voice steady and light as it did just now. “What do you mean?”

 

            “Let’s just say that you accomplished to get the most difficult kid I know to like you...In what? Less than thirty-six hours? It took your friend months. Maz – three years. Me – since her birth. Actually, I’m still working on it.”

 

            I found myself being walked back to Poe’s.

 

           “Why does it matter that she likes you?”

 

            Kylo swallows. “I’m her godfather. Paige was my best friend.”

 

 

            I follow Kylo’s gaze. The window comes to view. Rose is on the carpet, markers in hand, coloring rapidly. Maz knits on the recliner. Rose looks up and sees us. Abandoning her sketchbook, she rushes to the door and opens it. Kylo ruffles her hair as she looks down, then peeks from behind her bangs.

 

            “Hey Kiddo, you been good?”

           

            “Yes, Kylo.”

 

             Rose moves closer to me, arms open and I take it that she wants me to hold her. I pick her up, and she rests the side of her head on my shoulder. We enter the house with Kylo following close behind.

 

            Maz greets us then takes her leave. Rose has fallen immediately asleep on me. I turn to bid Kylo good night but instead -  

 

            “I could stay, if you want while you wait for Poe to come back.”

 

            My phone beeps. Speak of the devil. _Hi Rey. Thank you for being with Rose today. I really appreciate it. We are ten minutes away. Finn’s driving._

“No need. That was Poe actually. He said they’re close by. Thank you for offering, Kylo.”

 

            Kylo nods, inscrutable. “I’m just next door. In case you need me.”

 

            He opens the front door. The sun has set. The palm trees sway outside and the familiar blinking red dots appear among the shadows.

           

            “It was lovely chatting with you Rey.”

 

            “You too, Kylo. Good night.”

 

            As I close the door and lock it, Rose stirs awake. She urges me to put her down and I do. Rose gathers her markers and sketch book to show me her drawings. I scan the pages as she flips through it. Butterflies, more butterflies, flowers, more butterflies. I’m in awe at her accuracy. She’s got the dark beady eyes and antennae, and each one has a unique pattern…

           

            “Rose, these are beautiful.”

           

            She stops at a page. A dark bedroom with the window open. A girl lying on her side with her eyes closed. There is a figure standing by the bed, black and ominous, watching.

 

            I point at the figure. “Rose, who is this?”

 

            She stares blankly at her drawing. “He’s my friend.”

 

            I try to calm down before I ask my next question. I point to the girl, my finger trembling.

 

            “Who is she?”

 

            “That’s you. That’s you last night.”

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Joji’s songs and lyrics


End file.
